Thank you for supporting our journalism. This article is available exclusively for our subscribers, who help fund our work at the Sun Sentinel.

I’ve been thinking this morning that perhaps I should have my Bubby credentials rescinded for behavior unfitting.

Feeling a little guilty after taking a bite of something that perhaps I shouldn’t have. In reality, this is not such an atypical feeling … guilt after eating something … but as of late, I’ve been successful at erasing such unnecessary and detrimental emotions. I actually threw out my bathroom scale about 10 years ago so not to have to deal with guilt after eating, joking that tossing out that evil little five-pound appliance was a great way to lose those five pounds.

Most recent weight-related jokes include one that states quite seriously that now that I’m a mature woman, I no longer feel the need to lose weight; I merely have to buy bigger clothes. Anyway, this particular guilt I’m experiencing this morning has nothing to do with gaining or losing of pounds. Rather it has to do with my Bubby-hood and one of the culinary treats related to it.

Over the last few years I’ve created a recipe for a new-fangled kind of healthy muffin. I bring them over to the kids whenever I get to see them. They call them Buffins, because the recipe is unique to this Bubby.

Those of you who know me understand that I’m not one to follow recipes of any kind, with the exception of my precise adherence to Nana Millie’s pot roast directions which I prepare it for Pesach.

There’s nothing proprietary about Buffin ingredients so no problem sharing them with you now. Although as I said, there’s no real recipe involved so I don’t know how much of anything goes into it. I just eye-ball the measurements to quote Rachel Ray. And I also go by feel of texture as I mix the batter.

First, I cook up a bowl of steel cut oatmeal. Once cooked, I add cinnamon, vanilla, peanut butter, frozen wild blueberries, vanilla flavored almond milk, egg white and almond flour, mixing the batter through with the addition of each element. I scoop the batter into muffin papers in my tin and bake at about 365 degrees for about 40 minutes. I began to substitute peanut butter for actual walnuts or pecans once the kids started going to the orthodontist, now experiencing a bit of trouble eating hard things. I think the peanut butter tastes a lot better because it permeates the whole batter.

At one point during the pandemic while the whole word was baking, I had trouble finding the little muffin/cupcake papers. I thought my baking career was at a temporary halt until Heather … who orders absolutely everything online … suggested that I do the same. So following her advice I now have enough baking papers, parchment paper and aluminum foil to stock a Hostess factory storeroom.

When we visit, I usually bring six Buffins for Heather’s family and additional four for Cory when I know he’s coming over too. I keep the additional two muffins for myself from Cory’s tray. Why, because I love them myself. I find the size of them perfect for a pre or post Pickleball snack or an afternoon nibble. So I afford myself those two Buffins every two weeks or so.

But yesterday I realized that because I wouldn’t be seeing the kids again for a few weeks, I would be bereft of my two muffins for quite a while. And then it dawned on me. Hey, aren’t I a person too, not just a Bubby? Aren’t I entitled to the entire six-tray of Buffins all to myself? So not to be denied, I decided to bake up a batch all for me. Smiling all the way through the prep and baking process, I felt like a deserving human.

Until this morning that is, when I took a bite of the first one in the canister and question the validity of my Bubby-hood. Would my Bubby have ever fried up an entire mess of blintzes or baked a whole tray of rugelach just for herself? I think not. But oh, well. What’s done is done. Next time I’ll hope to redeem myself.

Columnist Ellyn Laub resides in Coconut Creek.